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Becoming Illegal

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Becoming Illegal (Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator)
The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC , 20510
 
Dear Senator Harkin,
As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am 
writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland 
Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and 
they referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal 
alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which 
you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an 
illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do 
to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the 
last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the 
process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every 
year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return 
for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal 
retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because 
we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room 
as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for 
medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.
Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would 
receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well 
as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for 
my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of 
renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. 
This is very important to me given that I still have college age children 
driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal 
(retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most 
appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington , IA
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