Santa: Clearly a Conservative
Santa: Definitely a Conservative
Header aside, a brief editorial moment to thank you for visiting our site and participating in our comments section. (Yes, even you Zon!) It’s hard to believe we are finishing our fourth year online. This has been a particularly challenging year, but rest assured, we wholeheartedly believe that there is both a need and a desire for a right of center publication in Charlotte. We’re not going anywhere and those of you with us now will one day be able to claim “you knew us when”. 🙂
A very Merry Christmas to each and every one of you!
Now, on with the headline…
This question comes up every year. “Is Santa a Democrat or a Republican”?
I’m solidly in the “Republican” camp, and here are my top 10 reasons…in no order whatsoever.
1. Santa wears a red suit. Red is decidedly the color of the Republican Party.
2. Santa is an old white guy. Hate to say it, but demographics don’t lie.
3. Santa’s girth is indicative of a diet high in fats and processed sugar. Santa ain’t no vegan, PETA supporting Liberal.
4. Santa is a net jobs provider. He has a sizable labor force that would be in the unemployment lines without his leadership and capital investment.
5. Santa doesn’t take from the naughty to give to the nice, he incentivizes good behavior with a yearly performance bonus.
6. Santa is generous with his private, non government subsidized, wealth. The Claus received no bailout money.
7. Santa even gives the naughty the gift of fossil fuel. What a guy!
8. Santa is non-unionized. Ever hear of an elf strike?
9. Santa runs a major factory at the North Pole. Clearly no global warming concerns.
10. Santa is a jolly old soul who never complains about his workload and obligations. Not once has he blamed Bush.
Have anything to add? Leave a comment!
Thanks, Christian. But Santa is definitely a Liberal.
1) He lives in a commune isolated from society
2) His workers are all volunteers sharing quarters and food
3) He likes Muslim children as much as Christian
4) Homosexuals get gifts the same as heterosexual
5) he does what he does without being paid.
6) He’s an elf (who’s ever heard of a conservative elf?)
7) He’s Jolly
8) He gives things for free unconditionally.
9) He smokes a pipe
10) He’s popular in Europe
That’s pretty good…except I never met a jolly liberal and we all know that parents really give the presents – Santa just takes all the credit…oops I guess Santa IS a liberal.
Santa takes the credit….LOL!!!
Belief in Socialism is Like belief in Santa Clause. You can’t get something for nothing.
HAHA. Thanks Zon. I love how this topic proves that two people can look at the exact same set of information and yet draw different conclusions based on their preconceived notions. Human beings are funny creatures that way!
I gotta point out some things with your list though…
“Living on a commune isolated from society” is conservative thing. We’re the “preppers” readying ourselves for the economic collapse. Hoarding our food and ammo for the apocalypse. Liberals can’t seem to live but at the expense of others. A solitary lifestyle just wouldn’t work!
“Likes Muslim children”… Sure, Santa likes Muslim children, but Muslims don’t really care for him too much. Turks Turn on Santa
Who’s ever heard of a conservative elf? Well, if you’re thinking of the fancy pants elves of modern culture, then sure. I’m a fantasy nut, so my elves are more of the Tolkien-esque variety. The elder race is very wise and prefers life in a closed environment with only their own kind and un-involvement in others affairs. For better or worse, sounds more conservative to me. 🙂
“Gives things for free”. Well, conservatives are repeatedly the most charitable people in the US. Conservatives do, Liberals force other people to do…and then feel good about it.
“Smokes a pipe”. Liberals are anti tobacco. This is a conservative thing, no?
LOL. Merry Christmas man.
Santa is a cruel lie foisted upon children by their parents in an attempt to control them (“Santa’s got his eye on you!”), as well as a tool of marketers to separate said parents from their money.
As for the elves they seem to be pretty much brainwashed into their own brand of slavery; just ask Hermey the elf who wanted to be a dentist. Seems he and Rudolph, if it’s any indication at all, were both anarcho-capitalists eager to practice voluntarism in a non-coercive, mutually consensual arrangement. Quote:
Hermey: Hey, what do you say we both be independent together, huh?
Rudolph: You wouldn’t mind my – red nose?
Hermey: Not if you don’t mind me being a dentist.
Rudolph: [shaking hands with Hermey] It’s a deal.
And for more from the plantation …
http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0043617/quotes
Yeah, I know. Bah humbug! Ha! Merry Christmas to all, and thanks to Christian, Mark and everyone else who makes PH fun and enlightening all year round. May 2014 see us all better than the past.
There is not much difference between the belief in Santa Claus and that of most religions. Children believe. Adults believe. The difference: I can prove Santa exists. Gifts are given to children and adults every year. Given is the key word.
And who puts them under the tree but Santa Claus?
Christmas is a time of gift giving and being thankful and being with family and friends. Santa is only one manifestation of that.
Ah, the sadness which is in the mind of to the non-believer.
True, true in the comparison – I was waiting for someone to make that point. Though for me I have been touched by the hand of God in a way most have not; for me, it is not faith that God exists, but a reality no different than the fact than 2+2=4. Though I don’t believe in church, organized religion, or the need for the Bible to be literal or even figurative, I can tell you God is real (at least to me), whereas any rational adult knows Santa is a fantasy for little kids. No comparison, though I could see how non-believers in the former could make such an argument.
One doesn’t have to be a believer to believe in Christmas and even Santa Clause. Happy Holidays!
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